“Love Ya”

I am NOT a fan of that phrase. My heart is set on it beginning with a single-syllable word that asserts ownership over the two that follow. Without the first word, that one little letter, the phrase falls a bit flat. In my experience, “Love Ya” could be defined as follows:

To verbally express a depth of feeling that is not supported by an equal level of effort or action

This phrase makes my eyes roll in an annoyed expression of exasperation, but the rationale is understandable. Users are typically attempting to indicate warm feelings towards someone without committing to true deep affection, be it romantic or in the realm of friendship. I remember the first time a friend used all three words. Not a boyfriend or a family member. A pail ol’ F-R-I-E-N-D, friend. We were getting off a phone call, swapping salutations when I heard:

 “Bye! I love you, girl!”

I wanted to cry! Someone completely unobligated to do so chose to love me. They put in the effort it takes to accept ownership of that heartfelt phrase. And we all know how effortful it can be to own that “I”.

Maybe that’s why “love ya” gets on my nerves? To me, it’s a sign of half-effort. It’s like receiving a text that just says “k.” As if reaching the letter ‘o’ would have induced some sort of tragic thumb-sprain. If we all made it through Chinese finger traps, x-box wars, road trip thumb wrestling tournaments, overzealous thumbs-ups, and a myriad of other opposable activities, we can reach the ‘o’ on our keyboards. Don’t even get me started on the texters that spell out O-K-A-Y! If the effort put into “I love you” equates to the effort of “ok,” “okay” might as well be someone reciting a Shakespearean sonnet aloud while rose petals fall from the hands of cherubs that flutter around a star-speckled sky.

(There’s your Valentine’s Day idea, boys. Cherubs & Shakespearean sonnets. Start memorizing.)

With every year that passed, my soul seems to age 20x the expected rate. That is slightly alarming since I have been called an “old soul” since birth. At this rate, I am 440 years old in spirit…

My appreciation for meaningful action has increased along with my adoration of people who confidently express their affection. They love through deed and word equally. The women (and one man) in my life are particularly practiced at this! My mother and both grandmothers have gifted me, over the years, a collection of handwritten notes from holidays, birthdays, and random days too! My father contributed to this collection with some of my most prized possessions- letters he sent from across the world. The potency of effort, love, and care put into these is scarcely matched.

There is something about a handwritten note that tugs on heartstrings differently than the modern alternatives of text or email. A signed, sealed, delivered letter tells the recipient that they are worth all the effort. Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays for this very reason. It is a day for letters! Sweet little notes, friendly letter swaps, and casual correspondence. On this one day, people make the effort to handwrite a letter. They might even gain the confidence to write three meaningful words:

1. I 

2. LOVE 

3. YOU
   

xoxo, 

g